Looking for love … in all the wrong places?

Are you currently looking for love? You’re not alone! Everywhere around us, there are always so many people desiring to join with another in the elusive sacred bond of a loving relationship—a bond that fulfills their understanding of what it means to be two people in one loving couple full of emotional and physical affection. At the same time, others want to get out of hurtful or damaging relationships. Some folk will be full of unrequited love for somebody who has not idea that they exist, and would give anything to be with that person—or give anything to no longer feel the pain of loving the unavailable. Others feel guilty about deeds done in past or present relationships. Then there are those who are afraid to love, while others desire to return to a lover that they have lost.

Often these desires for love can become so strong that it causes a depression that gives a sense of life not being worthwhile. Others often feel that if only they had this perfect relationship, then the life they’d always imagined would finally start—maybe one where they contribute to the community, write a book, travel the world, or create durable work of art for humankind to remember. The truth is, you can’t always set the scene where everything works out at just the right time. We are often waiting for something to happen in life or the timing to be just right before we can do what we feel we ought to be doing. People waste a lot of time waiting for love when that time would be better spent creating the life that that they want, a life that—when that loving relationship comes along—will be enhanced.

It’s never a waste of time to hope for love, of course, but often we waste a lot of time hoping for one particular person’s love, rather than focusing time and energy to find a wonderful new partner. It’s easy to get stuck on one person, and natural to feel glum for a while when love is denied for whatever reason. However, it’s a waste of time to get stuck in that mood for several years—there comes a time to move on and live again.

One of the paradoxes of love is that when we desire love for love’s sake—when we are in love with the idea of being in love, or when we pin our romantic hopes and dreams on the never-never of a certain person reciprocating our love—then we are at our most unlovely. Who could love someone who waits passively for love to transform their life, or someone who mournfully waits for the object of their affection to notice them? If you’re unlucky in love, try banishing thoughts of love and focus instead on making your life as rich and rewarding as you possibly can. When your life is fulfilling on its own terms, your inner beauty and strength will shine, and you will have no problems attracting a lover—who might come from the most unlikely place—to enrich your life even further.